Friday, May 28, 2010

Put Down Your Cape, Super Mom

Blog readers, you have my apologies. It's been a while. A month- to be exact. But with the chaos surrounding my house of late, this fell to the bottom of the list. See about 5 weeks my husband, an avid bike commuter, had a fairly serious bike accident that resulted in a shoulder dislocation and subsequent surgery (including grafting a cadaver hamstring to his clavicle, eww!) that has thrown our finely tuned household operation upside down.

No longer able to drive (himself or carpool the kids to activities), change a diaper, fold a load of laundry or mow the lawn, I was making myself nuts with doing 100% of the household duties, all of the driving (a feat given our status as #3 worst traffic in the U.S.) and most of the kid responsibilities, from baths to- let's hear it for worst timing ever- potty training. Let's just say you never know how helpful your partner actually is until he's down a limb.

Then it hit me, I didn't have to do it all. In fact, it was really quite stupid. I was making myself nuts, taking my resentment out on my injured husband and setting a bad example for my kids. It was time to put down my cape. I didn't need to be Super Mom.

I've spent a long time building my village and it was time to let them help, and help they did. I enlisted several overnights for kid #3 (while potty training, good times for grandparents) and bus stop pick ups and drop offs for kids #1-2. I arranged carpools downtown for my husband until I realized that meant the cape was slowing creeping back onto my shoulders and swiftly handed him the bus schedule.

I gave up cooking for a week or two, opting for take out and breakfast and sandwiches for dinner. I said "no" to activities, for me, for the kids, for all of us. And we kind of liked it.

Now husband enters physical therapy and should get the OK from the surgeon to begin driving next week. Will I be able to keep my cape in the closet?

7 comments:

Betsy Rosenblatt Rosso said...

Way to go, Jenn. I am a big fan of asking for help.

Sabrina Waiss said...

Jenn, I wish you had written this a year ago and I had read it before my DH tore his achilles, throwing our lives into utter chaos for several months. You make so many good, honest points, especially with regard to that nasty resentment that can throw such a gray cloud over everything. Good for you for recognizing in the midst of the turmoil that you didn't have to maintain the self-imposed standards that can be so destructive! We all need to say yes more often to offers of help, and then just pay it forward when the opportunity arises. Thanks for sharing your experience and insights!

JM said...

This is a great post, and you learned about 10 x's faster than me...I don't know what I would have done this year without the village around our family. It is so tough when one of the adults is unable to drive and/or do household responsibilities and all the coordination is tough.

This post is a reminder to us all that the great thing about a village of people is that not everyone is having a bad day on the same day--and that helping others actually makes us feel more connected.

Good luck on physical therapy!

佩GailBohanan1蓉 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
茂俊雅俊憲珊 said...

you always know the right thing to say!............................................................

SadeRa盈君iford0412 said...

愛情是一種發明,需要不斷改良。只是,這種發明和其他發明不一樣,它沒有專利權,隨時會被人搶走。.................................................................

雅馨 said...

看看blog放鬆一下,工作累死了....<.................................................................