Going through the detritus that had accumulated over the last few years in that comparatively hideous C&B desk, I came across a magenta, sequined (?) journal; the first page was a pros and cons list of leaving my full-time Big 5 consulting job. Reviewing my shaky, over-caffeinated handwriting of the good, bad and ugly of leaving my post-MBA job, two things stood out:
- How much has changed! In the two years since I wrote that list, we decided to have another child (who just turned 1), I joined a start-up firm, and the twins finished Kindergarten.
- How right I was ! The number one pro of leaving full-time work meant I had more time with the kids and the number con was yet again, spending TOO much time with the kids.
You mothers out there with full-time jobs wondering if there is such a thing as too much time with your children, the answer is yes. Every woman needs a break. But how much is too much of a break? Does work actually qualify as a "break"? I remember one time, when the twins were about 20 months old and screaming at the breakfast table as I left home, I got to work, sipped a cup of coffee with my iPod blaring great tunes, and thought "they pay me for this?"
But suffice it to say there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Work too much, you'll regret missing the time with your children. Take a break from work and you've thrown away your career. Or so mainstream media would have you believe.
A recent CNN article "Working Moms Look Back With Mixed Emotion" tells me there are no real solutions. No matter how much you plan for your work/stay-home decision, you're never going to be completely comfortable and you may even have some regrets. But that's okay, really, it is. That's because there is no right answer.
I say again, there is no right answer. There's only the right answer at that time for you and your family, if any conditions change (and they will) it's time to re-evaluate. And when you do re-evaluate, remember that at the end of the day, it all works out. Because it has to.