My So-Called Wife

A friend passed me a New York Times op-ed published back in January by Sandra Tsing Loh called My So-Called Wife. The author, reflecting a recent trend, is the household breadwinner who has fantasies of being...and then having....a 50's era domestic goddess as a wife.

After some good humor on how much I'd like to have a wife, I surveyed several successful couples in my network, those that make the parsing of domestic work look easy, to identify some rules of engagement. Here's what I came up with:

1. Accept the reality that one partner will inevitably do more than the other. My unscientific research and personal experiences show that it will be the woman. This is not a gender flaw on men, it's just that the sisterhood cares more about the dirty coffee cup sitting on the counter. Men just don't see the dirty coffee cup.
2. Know that your partner won't do it your way. Sometimes their way is better, as is the case for my husband's laundry folding and bed making skills. Actually washing the sheets or putting away the laundry, that's another story.
3. Do the jobs you each do best, or hate the least, and outsource the rest. I am horrible at cutting the lawn, my husband lets paper clutter take over our house, we each do what we're good at. And we've found that a monthly housekeeper is cheaper than therapy.